confessions of a tall awkward teen

mixed signals

you think you know how a person feels about you then they blind side you saying they “miss you” and “wish you were here”

i’m so over it. If you like me just say it if you dont just don’t get my hopes up.

beyond pissed

i swear my mom doesn’t appreciate anything i do. For months shes been hounding me on cleaning my room and getting it together and I’ve either ignored her, said i would and don’t or start doing it then not finish.

So today i actually took the time to clean my room and it is literally spotless (except for the hair on the floor lol). All my clothes are put away, i can finally see the bottom of my desk, no more bags on the floor, etc.

BUT STILL. Without even looking in my room she still yella at me and says she’s disappointed in me for not tiding up my room. I was so angry that she just jumped to conclusions that i didn’t even bpther to tell her that my room was clean. I’m just so fed up of her always on my case. She doesn’t understand how much pressure i’m under with school and work and how much social pressure i’m under. Like i have probably the worst self esteem out of anyone.

She just makes me feel kind of worthless and idiotic.

I sound like a child i know but it’s how i feel.

Lonely

You never realize how lonely you are until you are alone in your room at 11 o’clock at night. And you just look at your life and you realize “wow i’m kind of sad and lonely.” 

I kind of wish i had someone (who isn’t family) that actually was excited to see me everyday. And that tells me that i look beautiful and i have the most amazing hair/eyes/smile/everything.

i really wish i had that…

the noises I have to deal with in the morning are ridiculous

here we go again, my sister is mad at me for something i didn’t know i did wrong. I guess i have to apologize for being asleep and not hearing the doorbell… like really bitch you wanna get mad at me for stupid things like that? BITCH PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELF.

MY (TECHNICALLY) FIRST DAY

well… i just finished my first day at work and it was…. long. All we did was sit in the break room and sign papers and talk about the policies and stuff. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the information but I hope to adjust soon.

but for now i’m scared for the future.


goodnight.

I AM EMPLOYED

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OLD NAVY OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG YES OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG MONEY

that awkward moment when you are attracted to an actor that resembles a family friend…. oh god.


#manish dayal

MY PERFECT GUY

i feel like i’ve already done this before but here it is (because i’m feeling bored and pretty depressed about life right now)

PHYSICALITY:

  • height: 5”10’ and beyond
  • weight: i don’t really care as long as they aren’t like really fat
  • skin colour: brown, white, it doesn’t really matter to me. Except for black. I DON’T KNOW. Even though i’m black, i feel like black guys are really ghetto and really disrespectful to women. If i meet a black guy that is sweet and actually respects me then i’ll change my mind.
  • nationality: to be honest i would prefer an indian guy but i mean at this point there’s not point in being picky. Just whoever comes around. If they happen to be indian then that’s a bonus
  • hair colour: doesn’t matter (but not ginger? idk i can’t imagine myself with a ginger guy…or a blond for that matter)
  • eye colour: honestly don’t care
  • penis size: OH GOD I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW OR CARE. THAT IS DISGUSTING. (i’m such a child i know)
  • beard or no beard: whatever looks better is fine with me
  • muscular or nah: I HATE LIKE SUPER MUSCULAR CHUNKING GUYS (e.g. Devin on BB16, Caleb is the one exception because he is sexy and is a really sweet guy). I like guys that are fit and have a bit of muscle but not overboard (e.g. Cody on BB16)
  • hair or no hair: I think i would prefer no hair like on the body, i think it just looks cleaner and sexier…tehe
  • extras: nice smile, nice butt, soft hands and skin

PERSONALITY:

  • has to be hilarious, smart (but not scientist smart), sweet, respectful, honest, loves to cook, has to love my jokes, 

MISC:

  • good sense of style

I dont get why its important to know if there were U.S. citizens on the Malaysian plane that crashed today. Almost 300 people died no matter what. They all lost their lives. People are people no matter where they lived. I just don’t get it.